"He Leadeth Me"

This morning I was in John 10, in preparation for preaching at a nursing home tomorrow afternoon.  There, in v. 3 Jesus “calls his sheep by name and leads them out… he goes before them, and the sheep follow him, for they know his voice.”

Jesus goes before his sheep.  He doesn’t send them on ahead of him, nor does he send them places where he hasn’t gone, to see how they will fare; to intervene only if they get in trouble.  No, he goes before his sheep; and they follow him.  So that his sheep only go places where he has already been.

Our family has gone places since our last post here.  We sold our house in Mount Pleasant, and have moved back to where it all began—at least for Priscilla!  We have moved into the house where Priscilla grew up.

It was a long process to get here, and we weren’t quite sure we ever would.  Last winter Priscilla’s sister, who inherited the house, made plans to move out of state.  Prior to that we had prayerfully determined that it would be best for us to move closer to our PIR (Pastor-in-residence) church, (1) so that we could become more involved there, and (2) to make it easier for us to “start over,” as it were, in a new place.  For that we needed a place, and this opened up that possibility.  Yes, it needs some renovation, and some TLC—but that would give me (Wendell) employment when the electrical work is slow.

So in May we put our house on the market, intending to move in time for the new school year.  By July no firm offer had come; we decided it was not going to sell, and began to make plans to stay there for this school year.  A day or two later, we had an offer on the house that looked very viable.  The kicker was: we had to install a new septic system at our house.

Through a great deal of uncertainty and a fair amount of expense (some of you followed that with our ever-changing moving dates!) we finally arrived at the move on September 10!  The children were two weeks into the new school year (for those two weeks we drove them 35 minutes to their new school every day), but God brought us here. 

It is impossible for us to exaggerate how much the body of Christ meant to us in the move, and the time leading up to the move.  Brothers and sisters prayed us through it all, then chipped in to clean the new house and pack up the old; leading up to the moving day when so many helped us move.  We were blessed beyond measure by the kindness of all.  If you were there—thank you! 

We are getting settled in, and are hopeful that we can begin in earnest the second part of the PIR program (see previous posts): getting back into ministry activities, and taking steps toward future ministry, all bathed in prayer. 

As one friend and mentor has repeatedly said, no matter what you end up doing, God wants your heart: that is the goal, to offer your heart to him, “promptly and sincerely.” (John Calvin).

So we journey on with the PIR program, Lord-willing focusing less on the details of the move, and more on ministry opportunities and service. 

Finally, in addition to your prayers, let me make one more request: with the move and all that stuff, we are a little behind in income.  The PIR program is supported by your investment in us, and so we ask for your support.  You may make tax-deductible contributions designated for “PIR” to “Community Evangelical Free Church,” at 52 S Brick Ln., Elverson, PA 19520.

We are so grateful for Jesus, the Good Shepherd.  Unbelievably marvelous, he laid down his life for his sheep, for the sinful likes of us.  Love beyond degree, the hymn writer says truly. 

Wisdom in Adversity

Charles Wickham, in his book Pastors at Risk (see sidebar) has a chapter on adversity--or, as he calls it, trials.  There he has six affirmations he urges on pastors--and I am convinced they are not only good for pastors.  These truths are all gleaned from 1 Peter.  So let me share them with you:

1. Experiencing trials is an inevitable part of life (1 Peter 1:6, "if necessary...").

2. The trial I am experiencing is temporary at best. (1 Peter 1:6, "for a little while").

3. Trial will be of great value to your life (1 Peter 1:7).

4. In trial, I will maintain my relationship with Jesus Christ (1 Peter 1:8-9).

5. In trial, I rule out ever getting even (1 Peter 2:23, the example of Jesus).

6. In trial, I will commit myself to God, who always does what is just and right (1 Peter 2:23b).

I am going to stick these on a card, and hang it above my monitor.  Good stuff.

Pastor-in-Residence: Taking the next step

This past Sunday I had the opportunity to teach a Sunday School class at a local church, on the theme of confidence in the Scriptures.  It is part of entering the second half of the Pastor-in-Residence program: to begin to get my feet wet with ministry activities.  I’ll do it again this Sunday, at the request of a friend (and former PIR participant). 

We also had the chance to visit a place called Restoration Farm, in Crewe, Virginia.  It is a farm run by a missionary couple, for the purpose of giving struggling missionaries a place to debrief—to do what the PIR program has been for us.  We were not there for restoration—but to help with construction.  We dug out, poured concrete, and laid block for a basement entrance to the guest house.  I did some electrical work, while others helped in other parts of the farm. The four families that went had a delightful, but exceedingly busy and tiring week.  We are glad we could do it. It turns out God has many ways to restore his servants—and physical work is one of them. 

Please do pray for us in the coming months as we have many decisions to make. We had hoped to sell our house, and move close to our “refuge church,” but God seems to have other plans.  We are still trying to sell the house (or rent it—if you know someone looking for a good, affordable house to rent northwest of Reading, let me know); but have made a Plan B (for us; for God there is only Plan A!) to remain here longer.

Meanwhile, I have begun an informal course by Ken Sande on “Relational Wisdom.”  You can find out more at rw360.org.  It is a biblical approach to what, in the secular world, is called “emotional intelligence.” It has been very helpful to me in processing life’s emotions.  I pray that I will be able to take what I am learning and share it with others in the future.

My electrical work is our main source of income, and we are still holding our own on that score, by God’s grace.  Still, if you would like to support us in spending more time focused on preparing for future ministry, our “refuge church” accepts tax-deductible contributions toward our PIR program.  Send your contribution (with “PIR program” in the memo line) to Community Evangelical Free Church, 52 S Brick Lane, Elverson, PA 19520.

And do continue to pray for us.  We have a great God, and pray that he will be glorified in us as we are restored.  Thanks for reading!

Living under the Mercy

We are continuing with the Pastor-in-Residence program and Community Evangelical Free Church in Elverson, PA.  It has now been almost five months, and we are getting to the place where we start, however tentatively, to think about what is next.  Recently we both took a vocational test called the PRO-D, and over the next few weeks our PIR group will work through the results of that with Priscilla and me.
What is our PIR group?  It is three couples from CEFC, chosen by CEFC's elders, to walk with us through this time.  We meet on average twice a month to go through a handbook of questions intended to help us process my resignation, to encourage repentance, and to reflect on how we seek God to change us, by his Word and Spirit, with a view toward possible future ministry.  The PRO-D part of the program is to assist us in assessing where our gifts are, so as to find a fit service in Christ's kingdom.
Let me say, our PIR group has been most excellent.  Every pastor, and in fact every Christian, ought to have such a support group.  Pastors (and Christians in general) are usually busy giving themselves out, and it is difficult to find people to whom they can pour out their hearts.  For Priscilla and me, too, it is unfamiliar territory having a group of people so very committed to us; but it is refreshing.  It is very humbling how these three couples are pouring themselves into our lives, with dedication and sacrifice.  God has proven himself faithful and good through these brothers and sisters.  I hope you have a small group at your church that is like this PIR group for us.  We are very blessed by this group--and they insist they also are blessed to be a part of it.  God is truly extravagant in his goodness.
Meanwhile, to provide for our needs, I am working on my electrical business.  It is slowly growing.  Our needs are met, though not in such a way that we forget we depend on our heavenly Father.
If you desire to help us in the PIR program, I'd be glad to do any work for you that you can use, provided you live close enough for that.  If you would like to help beyond that, CEFC is accepting donations for our PIR program.  You can send your contribution to "CEFC", with "PIR program" written in the memo line, to: Community Evangelical Free Church, 52 S Brick Lane, Elverson, PA 19520. All contributions are tax-deductible.
Thanks for your time and your prayers!

Living between Death and Resurrection

This is an appropriate day for us: the day between the death and resurrection of Jesus.  It’s a little bit how we feel these days.  We feel like the disciples, who just witnessed Jesus' death, with all of its sorrow, the seemingly lost hope in the man who they thought was the Messiah, the Savior of the world.  Now he is dead.  He said something about rising from the dead, but they were not quite sure of that, and did not know what to do with it, it appears, until it happened.  

We have great hope of the resurrection (probably more than the original disciples!); the resurrection for us means we look forward to restoration, to recovering a vision and mission for life and even, in God’s mercy, ministry; we know it is coming, our Lord will lead us there.  But we’re not there yet, and it seems very far away.  So this is an appropriate day, in the “already-not yet.”  We feel the death, for the most part, more than we can taste the resurrection.  But we do taste it! 

We continue to be greatly blessed by the Pastor-in-Residence (PIR) program.  The last two weeks our group has been studying many passages about restoration for those who are bowed down.  The Scriptures are full of it.  It is the story of redemption.  But reading so many passages all together, each one God's promise to restore or lift up those who are bowed down or low, was very powerful.  Try this: read Ps. 34:18; Ps. 71:20-21; Ps. 119:50; Ps 145:13-14; Is. 43:1-3; Lamentations 3:31-32; Rom. 5:3-5; 2 Cor. 10:4; and Gal. 6:1-2; all in one sitting.  Add to that Hannah's Song (1 Sam. 2) and Mary's Song (Luke 1:46ff).  God has a future for you and for me, and it will be glorious.  And it is as certain as the resurrection of Jesus Christ.

On the work front, I am getting more electrical work coming my way.  Again, if you live within shouting distance of Reading, PA, and need anything electrical done, please let me know; if you know anyone who does, direct them to me.

PIR is also supported by contributions of those who desire to help us in that way.  Checks written to "CEFC" with "PIR" on the memo line can be sent to Community Evangelical Free Church, 52 S. Brick Lane, Elverson, PA 19520.  Thank you so very, very much for your prayers, and for your support.

  

Something I wrote to our PIR group

We are greatly blessed by the PIR team that the church has put together for us.  We met yesterday afternoon, and this morning one of the team members wrote a very encouraging email.  Here is how I replied, and I thought I would post this here for those of you who want to know more how to pray for us.  It was a typical Monday morning today:

I woke up this morning with the blob of fear/anxiety/discouragement ready to descend upon my heart once again.  Uncharacteristically, I went down and told Priscilla, and we prayed together briefly (Priscilla couldn't pray out loud without coughing, aagh, so her prayer was very brief).  God has kept the blob at bay, PTL.  

In my prayer time I read Psalm 81, which says at one point: "I am the Lord your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt.  Open your mouth wide, and I will fill it."  God has delivered us from slavery to sin, through the cross.  He promises to fill us.  Thought of the hymn: "Thou art coming to a King, large petitions with thee bring."  (The psalm goes on to bemoan that "my people did not listen to my voice."  Alas.)
 I do not think I have ever been in a place where daily, even moment by moment, I experience my need for Christ.  It is not a comfortable place.  My Valley of Vision prayer went like this:
 When thou wouldst guide me I control myself
When thou wouldst be sovereign I rule myself
When thou wouldst take care of me I suffice myself
When I should depend on thy providings I supply myself
When I should submit to thy providence I follow my will
When I should study, love, honor, trust thee, I serve myself;
I fault and correct thy laws to suit myself...
Convince me that I cannot be my own God, to make myself happy,
Nor my own Christ, to restore my joy
Nor my own Spirit to teach, guide, rule me.

Thanks for engaging, and do pray for us, as we will for you.  God is good, and he is sovereign, and he is wise.  O for grace to trust him more.

PIR Update

It is now more than four months since my resignation.  In that time Priscilla and I have spent countless hours talking with people, all kinds of people; we have received a lot of compassion, sound counsel, as well as reprimand (not a bad thing) along the way.  A lot of wise people have spoken into our lives to our good benefit.

And now the PIR program has kicked in, the program we are engaged in at our “refuge church.”  Presently the center of that is meeting with three couples from the church who walk through and process with us the last few months, as well as consider what is wise going forward. 

Already Priscilla and I are very grateful we took this step.  As painful as it was and still is to leave behind friends at the church I served, we have been blessed to move to our refuge church (our children do not yet feel that blessing to the same degree, but we trust they will in time).  At the first PIR meeting the three couples told us their stories; at our second meeting this past Sunday Priscilla and I began to tell our respective stories.  At our next meeting we get down to a difficult part: the events surrounding my resignation.  Our meetings have been bathed in the “grace that is greater than all our sin.”  We need that, both for ourselves and to extend to others.  By the way, the material that PIR Ministries put together is excellent.

On another front, after considering many options, it seemed the best way to make a living going forward was through electrical work.  So I am in the process (and with the state bureaucracy, it is a process!) of setting up an electrical business.  That is a skill I learned during college vacations, and have kept up with over the years.  We are praying for enough contacts to keep busy.  Of course, I am always open to other jobs that utilize my other skills (I’m on LinkedIn; you can find me there).  Priscilla is also considering working outside the home, which has other decisions (especially schooling) attached to it.

How can you help?  If you live within shouting distance of Reading, PA, and need something electrical done, or know someone who does, give me a call.  You can also contribute directly to our PIR program by sending a contribution designated “PIR” to Community Evangelical Free Church, 52 S. Brick Lane, Elverson, PA 19520; all donations are tax-deductible.

Above all, please pray for us.  We continue to have a lot of decisions to make, and need wisdom.  Pray for us beginning with Ephesians 1:17ff., wisdom to know the immeasurable greatness of God in the gospel; and the (more situational) wisdom of James 1:5, which God gives generously and without reproach to those who ask (isn’t that a powerful verse!).

Thanks for caring enough to read this.  Drop a line and let us know how we can pray for you, too.

O Lord, All My Longing Is before You; My Sighing Is Not Hidden from You.

How is that to pull you into a psalm?  That is Psalm 38:9, and through a friend's pointing me to that verse God drew me into Psalm 38.
Psalm 38 is 22 verses long.  The first eight verses are about the crushing weight of sin.  God's hand has come down because of my sin (v. 2); there is no soundness in my flesh  because of my sin; it has gone over my head (vv. 3, 7), it is too heavy a burden to bear (v. 4); I groan because of the tumult of my heart, v. 8 ends.
On top of that, in vv. 12-20, I have enemies. They seek my life, seek my hurt, and meditate treachery against me (v. 12).  They are very powerful (v. 19), they render evil for good (v. 20).  This is a psalm by one who is crushed by sin within, and by enemies without.
It is also a psalm for those who feel crushed by sin within and enemies without.  For it tells us where to turn.  Six times comes the refrain: "O Lord."  The psalm begins, "O Lord..."  After pouring out his heart over sin in vv. 1-8 comes the "O Lord" of v. 9.  Twice in v. 15: "for you, O Lord, do I wait," and, "it is you, O Lord my God, who will answer."  And in the last two verses the plea: O Lord... O my God... O Lord." Help.
Eugene Petersen, in his book on the psalms (see sidebar) points out that we tend to look at the psalms through the lens of the psychology of the psalmist.  He remarks (p. 14):

"The Psalms were not prayed by people trying to understand themselves.  They are not the record of people searching for the meaning of life.  They were prayed by people who understood that God had everything to do with them. God, not their feelings, was the center. God, not their souls, was the issue.  God, not the meaning of life, was critical."

Let's apply that to Psalm 38 so we hear what this psalm says to us.  We might say: "This psalm was written by someone in very dire circumstances.  I am not in very dire circumstances.  It does not speak to me."  That is taking the psychology of the psalmist as the starting point of the psalm.  And possibly missing the point.
The psalm, however, says, reveals, at least one very profound thing about God.  It is in vv. 9-11.  It is what distinguishes God from everyone else.  It matters supremely when you and I are in deep distress; but it matters all the time.  In v. 10, my strength has failed.  In v. 11, even loved ones--friends, companions, nearest kin--stand aloof, far off.  But God never--NEVER--stands aloof, or far off.  No matter how great the sin (and it is most always more hideous than we ourselves know--think of Isaiah in Isaiah 6).  No matter how beset by enemies--literal or spiritual (remember Psalm 2 where nations, peoples, kings, rulers, all oppose God, try to be rid of him!).  "O Lord my God"--he is never far, never distant, never hides from us because of the hideousness of our sin, or our weakness in the face of the powerful.  "All my longing is before you; my sighing is not hidden from your sight."  He is the One who "put my tears in [his] bottle" (Ps. 56:8).
In fact, God drew near to us at our very worst point.  He sent Jesus "when we were his enemies" (Romans 5).  He did not stand aloof, but came in Emmanuel, God with Us.
In my and my family's present circumstances, this is powerful.  In my sin, this is powerful.  In my, in our, in the church's, apparent weakness in the face of powerful enemies, this is powerful.  My longing is before the Lord, the great I am, God the Father Almighty, Maker of Heaven and Earth.  My sighing is not hidden from him.  Hallelujah.